We're facebook friends in real life
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize