Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
