First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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