If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
