these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You left your phone here
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