i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Randomize