would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Still dying that you shit outside
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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