never play flip cup with pint glasses
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Randomize