Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
