if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
