So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
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ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
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we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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