STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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