I just saw a hot homeless man
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
