Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
