Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
