just tell him i said nine months
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
