i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
