You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
