And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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