you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
