i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
