my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize