I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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