Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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