just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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