How'd it feel making her break her religion?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
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She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
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He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
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