This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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