ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
