I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
