Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
