I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
not ubering you a puppy
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize