Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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