I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
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So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
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you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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