dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
