Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize