Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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