thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
