I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
