im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
