My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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