worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
