my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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