you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
