xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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