She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
