she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Randomize
