gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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