I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
