i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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