everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
