Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
