My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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