Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
