Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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