i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
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I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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