I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.