biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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