They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well