i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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