flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
