Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
