well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
