I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
