I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
